


I'm Saying No

by StarDrifter759



Series: Quantum Mirror: Stargate Alternate Realities [4]
Category: Stargate - All Media Types
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Lantash Lives!, Light Angst, Lt is having none of it, Other, Wishy-Washy Feelings are BS, nothing is resolved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 00:44:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18906025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarDrifter759/pseuds/StarDrifter759
Summary: Lieutenant Elliot and Colonel Carter have a chat about Lantash.--A little ditty where emotions are talked about and nothing is resolved





	I'm Saying No

 Kevin sighed as he walked down the corridor to Colonel Carter’s lab. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to this conversation. In all honesty, he was a little mad about it.

 _‘You do not know why she has asked to see you_ ,’ his symbiote whispered softly into his mind.

 _‘Yes I do_ ,’ he scoffed in reply. ‘ _We both do. Stop pretending to be ignorant; it’s not a good look for you_.’

Lantash withdrew, diminishing his presence in Kevin’s mind, and Kevin felt bad about snarking at him. It just really creamed his corn. He wasn’t even mad at Lantash, in fact, he was mad _for_ Lantash – it was protective! His symbiote was the victim of an unrequited love affair and Kevin really just wanted to spare him the pain.

And it would be painful. It had been five years since they’d “died” on the Tok’ra home world. There was no doubt in either blended mind that Colonel Carter had moved on from whatever “maybe” she’d been flirting with back then. And driving the knife home by pulling him – and more to the point, Lantash – into a private conversation just to say, “by the way, I’m married” or some bullshit, was just cruel and unusual punishment that Lantash didn’t deserve. In fact, he had every intention of refusing his symbiote control of their body during this little “conversation”.

Pulling up to the open doorway, he rapped his knuckles on the concrete wall to get her attention. She snapped upright and turned toward the door, face unreadable.

“Come in Lieutenant.”

He saluted and waited for her to return the gesture before stepping into her lab and standing at attention.

 _‘Laying it on a bit think aren’t you?’_ Lantash said morosely _. ‘I never thought Stargate Command was so formal_.’

 _‘I’m making a statement_.’ He thought back. His symbiote sighed before again falling silent.

“At ease Lieutenant.” She said, seeming a little mystified by his formality, especially because he could technically be considered a Tok’ra operative and therefore not under her authority.

“You wanted to see me, ma’am?”

She blinked at him. “Uh... yeah. There’s no need to be so formal, Lieutenant. I was under the impression you were leaning more toward joining the Tok’ra full-time than you were staying here at the SGC and retaining your rank.”

“Yes ma’am. I was declared KIA, so it’d be a little hard to knock on the old homestead and explain that I was POW, more than KIA. Besides, I’d have to disappear again eventually anyway, before they started to notice that I never age. I’d rather spare my family the pain of losing me twice.”

“I’m sure they’d love to see you again.” She said softly.

 _‘Jacob_ ,’ Lantash supplied, his own grief for the fallen Tok’ra apparent. ‘ _She’s thinking about if she got the chance to see her father again.’_

“The feeling is mutual ma’am, but I stand by my choice.”

She nodded, and looked a little lost; clearly fishing for the best way to broach the topic she actually wanted to talk about and just as clearly having no idea how.

For himself, Kevin was weighing the pros and cons of helping her out or letting her dangle. After a long, silent minute, he decided to cut to the chase, it was best for Lantash if this was over and done with as quickly as possible. “Was there something in particular you wanted to talk to me about ma’am?” He asked.

She started a little, almost as if she’d forgotten he was there, despite staring at him the whole time. “Yeah, uh,” she cleared her throat. “I’d actually like to talk to Lantash for a minute.”

At that request, Lantash’s pain lanced through the barrier between them, causing his heart to constrict. “No.” He said flatly.

This time she did startle, and looked a little angry before she managed to control her expression. “No? He wont talk to me?” She sounded incredulous.

“He would,” Kevin said slowly, “I won’t let him.”

Now she definitely looked a little offended. “I need to talk to him.”

“No ma’am, you don’t. If you’re gonna say what I think you’re planning on saying, then let _me_ say that it’s unnecessary.” Oh yeah, she was pissed now. He plowed on. “He wanted you to know, he expected nothing in return, and you don’t owe an explanation or excuse, or anything else.”

She crossed her arms, hips cocking. “You don’t know that-”

He cut her off. “It’s okay. Really. He figured that you had some confused feelings for Martouf, and maybe some residual fondness for him, and he just wanted you to know the truth. But unless what you have to say is an unequivocal “I want to be with you”- at which point you’d have to convince me - then I’m going to have to ask you to stay away from us.”

She was shocked into silence; mouth hanging open, clearly offended and clueless as to how to respond.

“I love Lantash more than anything, Colonel. So I won’t let you hurt him. If you just want to let him down easy, then let me assure you he got the memo. You don’t want him. Check, Rog. And if that’s not it, and you’re actually considering if you want something with him, then I have to tell you that if you are at all unsure, my answer is no.” There was no leeway in his voice. He meant every word he said.

Inside him, Lantash writhed, his serpentine body clinging tightly to Kevin’s spine in anxiety; so unusual for the confident, headstrong symbiote, so distressing for his host. This wasn’t ending fast enough.

For her part, Carter was gaping at him like a fish, her face filtering through a cornucopia of emotions. Eventually, she licked her lips and looked at him with shrewd eyes. “You know… this isn’t going how I expected… at all.”

‘ _Explain it to her, please_.’ Lantash begged him.

Kevin sighed. Feeling frustration at the situation and sympathy for his dearly loved symbiote. ‘ _Fine._ ’ He replied. ‘ _But only because I love you_.’

“Lantash wants me explain why that is.”

She nodded to encourage him. Apparently she wanted to know. Kevin sighed again. ‘ _Where do I start?_ ’ he asked.

‘ _With Martouf_ ,’ came the soft reply.

“Lantash… didn’t want to repeat something – a problem – he had with Martouf.” At this, the Colonel’s brow furrowed. Apparently she couldn’t find a problem with Martouf. Typical. Okay, he wasn’t being fair, and needed to get back on track and finish the story.

“A problem with Martouf?”

“Yeah. Martouf loved Jolinar obsessively, unhealthily. It worried Lantash, and he blamed himself for it. He thinks he gave his emotions to Martouf too quickly. And because he had been married to Jolinar for about three times as long as Martouf had been alive at that point, it was overwhelming.

“He didn’t want that to happen to me. So when we blended, he stripped his memories of the last two hundred years of emotion. He held them back. So that my opinion and feelings wouldn’t be…”

‘ _Unduly influenced_ ,’ Lantash helpfully supplied.

Kevin smiled before echoing the words. “Unduly influenced.”

The Colonel smiled too, clearly aware of the internal communication. “So… you don’t…” She gestured between them.

“No ma’am, I don’t.” Again, he spoke with finality.

He watched her swallow heavily, eyes guarded. “I…”

“Ma’am,” he interjected. “If there was anything to say, you would have said it five years ago.”

 

* * *

 

Sam walked heavily into Daniel’s office, dropped her elbows on his workstation and her face into her hands. Daniel looked up and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “So… how’d it go?”

“Honestly? I don’t have a clue.” She said emphatically.

Daniel looked up from his book, squinting at her, before he looked back down. “What’d Lantash say?”

“Nothing. He didn’t say a damn thing. Lieutenant Elliot on the other hand, had plenty to say – and not even a faint interest in listening to me.”

Daniel put his book away, brows furrowing in concern for his friend as he waited for her to continue.

“Elliot was having none of it. Apparently he doesn’t care for wishy-washy feelings.” She smiled sadly, and clasped her hands as if to say ‘well, that’s that.’

“I’m sorry, Sam.”

“Yeah… me too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> It sucks. I hope someone enjoys.


End file.
